Many women also set lower goals and are satisfied with less, but it's not clear why. Experts often say that one theory is that women compare themselves to other women and they don't include men when comparing salaries, benefits, or promotions. For some reason, women tend to think lower pay is fair.

Most of the mistakes women make in negotiation happen before they even enter the conversation. Before even starting a negotiation, it's important to establish in your own mind what alternatives and trade-offs you might be willing to consider. When you feel empowered by alternatives and multiple options, you are able to eliminate the fear that often seeps into the negotiation process. Some of those viable alternatives might include:

Trying to generate another job offer.
Lining up another interview.
Taking an "I'm the buyer" approach to the negotiation.
Be aware of sounding and acting too eager from the very first contact, letters, résumé, and phone calls all the way through the interviews and negotiations. Think of the type of setting you're most comfortable in and try to have important conversations there. What environment is it easier for you to stand firm or say no in?

It's also essential to prepare specific things to say depending on the style of your negotiator. You should have a plan of attack for both. A hard-style negotiator is firm, with forbidding body language, and tends to say no to everything. This type of person can be very intimidating. A soft-style negotiator is very agreeable and tries to work with you.

But don't be fooled by this pleasant personality. It's a common mistake with women who have soft-style negotiators to be very agreeable in return, trying to be polite, make them like you. You can easily end up walking away with less. The bottom line is you still have to ask for what you want without feeling guilty regardless of whom you're dealing with.

Many of the mistakes women make when it comes to negotiating have little to do with their negotiating skills, but with their negotiation attitudes. Review the following list of mistakes women make and compare them with your own feelings and attitudes toward negotiation. You cannot correct your own mistakes unless you can recognize them.

Women tend not to recognize opportunities to negotiate. Do not make the mistake of considering all salary and benefit offers as firm. It is not a take-it-or-leave-it situation. Most employers expect you to come back with a counteroffer.
Women are good at building relationships. When women value a relationship, they tend to protect it. Women make the mistake of failing to negotiate out of fear of hurting the relationship they have built with their interviewer and potential employer. Do not make the mistake of thinking negotiation will anger your interviewer.
Society has taught women to shy away from bold behavior. Women are more likely to sit back and wait for credit for their work than to ask for compensation. Women have internalized the idea that asking for more than what someone wants to give is rude. Realize that it is okay to ask for what you deserve.
Women fail to do their homework. An important part of salary and negotiation is researching comparable salaries in similar positions. Many women do not know their own worth. Make sure you value your own experiences and education.
Women focus less on what they are giving the employer than on what the employer is giving them. They already see the employer as providing so much that they are willing to settle for smaller salaries. Focus on what you are offering an employer, not how the position will advance your career.
Women start off in the hole. Women do not negotiate a higher salary to begin with, so raises and bonuses computed by percentage are smaller as well. The problem feeds off itself and the wage gap between men and women continues to grow larger. Don't make the mistake of thinking a low salary will eventually "catch up" to what you deserve.
Women take negotiations personally. Remember it is about business, so detach your emotions from the conversation.
More than likely, you make at least a few of these mistakes. Chances are, interviewers will have more experience and skill at salary negotiation than you. It is important to prepare a strategy.

Negotiating is not a simple process. It takes a lot of research, effort, great debating skills, and practice, but the payoff is worth the work. Never accept a job offer without discussing the salary and benefits. Go in prepared.